The second part is all about our journey through Sri Lanka. We spent a month on the paradisiacal island. In that time we have had many beautiful and sometimes intense experiences. I will not discuss the trip and the country in the post. I would like to explain to you from the point of view of human design what has happened in the journey between us. In doing so, it is important for me to describe the effect of conditioning. I want to show you how Human Design supports us to have a harmonious relationship.
The arrival of Theresa
The 2.5 month waiting is over and Theresa is in the plane on her way to me. The nights before, I was super nervous and couldn’t sleep well at all. Of course, I had an incredible anticipation to see them and also a lot of fear before. It was infinitely important to me to be at the airport before she arrived and welcome her with open arms. In Sri Lanka, German punctuality is not always a given, which I actually don’t find particularly dramatic. Only at this point it was dramatic for me and I asked the cab driver to come extra early, pick me up and take me to the airport. The thought of arriving late was already stressing me out. Now I can say that everything worked out and I was at the airport on time.
Theresa and I had a lot of contact in the 2.5 months and of course we had already imagined how it would be when we could finally hold each other in our arms again. In the 3 weeks before I left, we could never keep our hands off each other and were always touching in some way. This is due to our 6 electromagnetic connections and Theresa’s cognition. Theresa’s cognition is touch and because of that she has a strong urge to touch everything. That was so funny for me to watch on the trip. She really touches everything! Electromagnetic connections occur when two people each have a gate of a channel and these gates define each other to a channel. They can be seen as magnets that attract and also repel. With 6 pieces, the attraction is very strong with us. Now, if you look at you and your partner in a composite chart and you have only 1-3 such connection, it is not tragic at all! It is not about collecting electromagnetic connections. It is always important to interpret the whole chart and not just individual aspects.
The unfounded fear
What if I’m no longer attracted to Theresa? What if she gets here and it’s not what we thought it would be? Such thoughts arose in me in the days before Theresa’s arrival. Solche Gedanken sind in den Tagen vor Theresas Ankunft in mir aufgekommen. But at that moment it got the better of me and I couldn’t get rid of the thoughts. So now I was standing at the airport waiting for Theresa. I sat in the waiting area and saw that the plane landed on time. I still had various negative thoughts in me. What if I miss them? Gripped by anxiety, I got up and waited for them right at the exit. A few minutes later I see Theresa and my first thought was: I can’t miss this woman because I would recognize her immediately among 100000 people.
She sees me, we walk towards each other and embrace intimately. We were both overwhelmed by our feelings and this moment. So we stood there for at least 15 minutes and for me the world around me ceased to exist. There was only Theresa and me left. My whole body was shaking and I was completely overwhelmed. I could no longer control anything inside me and could only give up and surrender to the moment. At some point the thought occurred to me, we can now make our way to our accommodation. Still totally off track, I didn’t know what to say. Then I blurt out that we should get some money for you first. Theresa starts laughing and says, let’s get money and go to the shelter. I still couldn’t quite believe that she was really here with me. So we get some money at the ATM and then make our way to our accommodation. We were both so overjoyed to see each other again. For me, this moment was one of the most beautiful moments of our entire trip.
Attraction and repulsion
Now I would like to bring you closer to how in this one month the 6 electromagnetic connections have worked on us. In the beginning, these connections ensured that we spent a lot of time together as a couple and stuck to each other like two magnets. They were also responsible for our encounter at the airport. It was like we were two magnets that couldn’t get away from each other and didn’t want to. We had an incredible number of beautiful intimate moments during that time. It was as if we lived only in our world and the rest was completely irrelevant. No matter what happened, we could always laugh and we were happy to be together even in maybe not so pleasant situations.
After about 2-3 weeks our connection started to change and we slowly realized that we needed a break from each other. Our circumstances were not quite ideal either. We were in the south of Sri Lanka at the time and it was off season there. Along with the crisis in the country, nothing or very little was open there and there were no other tourists. In addition, we both also got a little sick. Towards the end of the month, I realized how much strength the trip had cost me. We did everything by motorcycle and the traffic in Sri Lanka is like the Wild West. Rules are considered as orientation. We also did a lot of things, which of course cost me energy.
At some point I realized that I was going over my energy quota and overloading my body. I can do that for a while. It’s just that at some point my body just goes on strike and it takes the time off it needs, whether I want it to or not. For Theresa, it was very similar. My body started to rebel at some point and just wanted to get away and have its peace. Lying alone in a cave and resting. I noticed this, especially because my body developed a tendency to want to slip away while cuddling with Theresa. However, my mind was in conflict with it. I really wanted to stay with her because I knew she would only be here 1 month. Last week we talked about it and we both realized we needed a break from each other. In our relationship, it is important to break the connection and re-enter. It’s about stepping out of the other person’s aura and being for yourself for a while. Then the magnets can also attract each other again.
Sleep in the same bed for 1 month
In human design, there are several areas that have completely different views from the way we live it in society. This includes the topic of sleeping together in one bed. From a human design perspective, each person should sleep in their own bed with enough distance from the next person that no one else is in your own aura while you sleep. The reason is very simple and logical. Nevertheless, the execution is extremely difficult. Especially when the relationship is still in its early stages, it’s incredibly hard to say, I sleep in my own bed. If you sleep at all at night in the beginning.
The reason for the separate beds is the conditioning in sleep by the partner. We lie in bed next to our partner for an average of 5-8 hours and this creates long-term conditioning. Since there are tensions in every relationship, they naturally continue to be active even during sleep, and as a result we don’t get a truly restful night’s sleep. It is much more restful for us to fall asleep and wake up alone in our own aura. This also applies to apartments in high-rise buildings. The neighbors should also not be in your aura when you are asleep. This is almost impossible in large cities. Ra was talking about aura boxes here.
Generator and non-generator in one bed
Sleeping together in the same bed is a big issue for us because Theresa is a generator and I am a reflector. I am almost permanently conditioned by her sacral energy, which triggers a tension in me and tempts me to constantly do something. Especially between genertors and non-genertors it is important to have separate bedrooms. The body of non-generators needs a break from the sacral power. For financial reasons, we always slept in one bed on our trip. Of course, also because it’s nice to fall asleep and wake up next to each other. But at the end of the month, looking back, I can say that sleeping next to Theresa for so long at a stretch is anything but restful for me.
Of course, there is the added aspect that I haven’t slept next to someone for many days in a very long time. Her generators energy totally turns me on and provides me with a lot of energy, but when I sleep I need a break from it, so my body can recover. That was not a given this month and it burned me out at some point in addition to our ventures. Of course, I was familiar with this mechanism through my human design studies. Now I have experienced it physically as well. For me, as a reflector, it is incredibly important to sleep alone without any people around me. Of course, sleeping alone is healing for everyone. Also, I know that it is totally nice to fall asleep and wake up next to your partner. Each couple can decide for themselves how they want to deal with this. In my experience, I would try to sleep 3 days together in the same bed and 4 days sleeping alone.
Getting to know and understand each other
This month we got to know each other very intensively and also got to know sides of each other that may be unfamiliar to the other or may also be exhausting. The planetary constellation has also provided one or two challenges for us. During the whole journey the gate 18 in Mercury was active and I carry the gate 58 in me. This has defined the channel and this is responsible for pointing out possible improvements with joy. Mercury stands for communication and so I always saw what we could improve and had to communicate it directly. The very important thing with this skill is not to use it on your partner! That’s easier said than done. Of course, I applied this skill on Theresa and as a result, I was sometimes stressful for her. I have begun to watch and hold back thoughts of improvement, but in the end I usually end up saying them. With this ability, I became a smartass and that was stressful for Theresa.
In return, I got to know Theresa’s Gate 26. Gate 26 is the egoist and on certain issues she can be so egoistic. For me with a completely open ego, it’s a huge challenge to be around people who have a defined ego. Many people with a defined ego have an inflated ego and use this power only for themselves. With Theresa it is rather the opposite and she should show herself much more and use her ego power. Very gladly for us, because then I also profit from it. When it comes to food, Theresa’s ego power comes out and she uses it for herself. Sharing a dessert with her is almost impossible. Instead of sharing in harmony, it’s more like a fight over food. Unless there is so much that we can’t eat it all anyway. I learned that this is probably a family issue.
Reflector as a partner
For Theresa, being with me as a reflector was also challenging to some degree. I have become so sensitive that I perceive things in other people before they even realize it themselves. Especially with people with whom I am strongly connected, I perceive a lot. So I also often perceived things with Theresa before it was clear to her. It has mostly helped her to better understand herself and her own needs. This is also the capability of a reflector. For me, there is almost nothing more stressful when people around me try to hide something and I feel the energy all the time. For example, when Theresa wants something and she doesn’t bring it up, I constantly feel this uncomfortable energy. I don’t always address everything because I know it can be exhausting for the person involved. Especially when I clearly sense that this person does not want to hear the topic. In the last week of our trip, she said in a very loving tone of voice, I need a break from my mirror.
Unconditional acceptance and communication
Human Design teaches us again and again that we are just right the way as we are and it is on us, how we deal with ourselves and the partner. Thus, these experiences that I have described here are not to be considered negative. They are mechanics that affect us and we may learn to deal with them correctly. Of course, it is a challenge because of our ideas and all the patterns that we carry within us through our parents and society. These beliefs do not want to change and so we often have the dichotomy within us. That’s why it’s so important not to judge yourself and to transform your beliefs bit by bit. We practice in our relationship by using type, strategy and authority to walk our life path as individuals and as a couple. In addition, through human design, we understand how the other person functions and thus have more understanding of why we do certain things the way we do.
There is nothing we don’t talk about in our relationship. Sometimes they are also painful topics. I had often been at the point where I didn’t know how to say something without offending Theresa. The fear was always unfounded because Theresa always listened to me without judgment. It was my fear of making a mistake from the previous relationship. Durch die große physikalische Distanz zwischen uns haben wir haben bereits erfahren, wie wichtig es ist offen und ehrlich zu kommunizieren. We are both big fans of non-violent communication because it helps us communicate our feelings and needs.