My parents separated when I was about 6 years old and in the following year my mum met my stepfather. I grew up with my mom and stepfather until I moved out when I was 20. During that time I experienced a lot and as you can easily see in the picture here, I wasn’t an athletic boy when I was at school. The separation of my parents and other childhood experiences as well as a lot of bullying in my school days meant that I literally ate things inside myself.
As a reflector, I am a very sensitive being and perceive many things, which often overwhelmed me as a child. Once, spoken to crookedly and I started crying, which happened particularly easily to people who were close to me. This got me into a downward spiral in which I experienced more bullying and then ate even more.
I started my first apprenticeship as a carpenter when I was 16 and completed it after 3 years. In the third year of my apprenticeship, I realized that it wasn’t my job and that I only did it because my mum and stepfather worked in a carpentry shop. The trigger for this was my illness when I was about 18 years old. A liposarcoma has formed on the left knee, which is a very rare malignant tumor. After that I didn’t know what I wanted to do and stayed at home for a year. My first year of self-discovery, so to speak.
At the age of 20 I moved to Munich for my new apprenticeship as an IT system administrator. That was also a lot of fun for me because I’ve always spent a lot of time on the computer. After graduating, I worked as an IT specialist for another 4 years, during this time I worked for 5 different companies and had less and less interest in the job. In 2018 I went to India for a two-week yoga retreat. At the time, I was still employed at my IT job. Back from India, I realized that the IT job wasn’t right for me either, so I quit my job and my apartment without further ado and traveled to Bali for my first yoga teacher training.
After my yoga teacher training in Bali, I traveled another 6 months in Asia. In December 2019, just before Christmas, I came back to Germany as a surprise for my family. I thought my grandma was having a heart attack when she opened the door at 9am. Hardly at home, I started my next yoga teacher training, which lasted over 1 year. During that time I got to know Human Design and was super enthusiastic about the system right from the start. As I listened to my Basic Reading, I realized why certain things in my life happened the way they are.
As a reflector, which makes up about 1% of the world’s population, it made me realize why I function so differently. All my life I have tried to fit in and always thought “something is wrong with me”. I’ve been chasing dreams of others and many other things I’ve only done out of conditioning from others. So enthusiastic about Human Design, I immediately started my training as an analyst.
As a reflector and coach, I would like to offer you my gifts so that you too can find yourself. Being authentic is incredibly important to me. Each of us has our own story in life. Our handling of it makes it a burden or a joy. That depends on our decision. For years, I was ashamed of and suffered from my past.
But all of this was necessary for me to become the person I am today. Healing can only occur when we perceive, recognize and then let go of the painful experience. Don’t live your life by your past and don’t flee in the future. The present is what matters and the rest is illusion.
On 29.05.2022 my plane left for a new stage of life. In the last 2.5 years in Germany, I realized that this country is not my place to live. As a reflector, I am extremely sensitive to the energies in a country and the energy of Germany and my own no longer fit together. Moreover, for my body the coast is the ideal environment. Life in Germany really sucked me out. Over the past 2.5 years, I’ve been wondering whether or not to move to Asia.
At some point I realized I had to leave. If I don’t go, I will always get worse physically and my soul will never be able to develop. Of course, the step was not easy. Leaving my family and friends was the biggest challenge. Quitting my apartment and selling my stuff, on the other hand, felt incredibly liberating. Now I am sitting here in Sri Lanka, writing these lines and I don’t regret it for a second. Go with the flow is not just a motto that I keep saying to myself, but it should become a new attitude towards life for me. The ideal condition of a reflector is surprise. So life please surprise me.