In this two-part post, I want to share with you my personal experience on the topic of human designs in partnership. Human design is an essential component in my new relationship. Not only because I met Theresa through Human Design, but because it helps us incredibly in our relationship. Through Human Design, we don’t take certain things so personally anymore because we know it’s the mechanics in the relationship or the other person and there’s nothing wrong with us.
How we met
When I still lived in Munich, I regularly went bouldering with my friends. About 2 months before I left, I went bouldering with a good friend. On that day, he took another friend of his with him, whom I didn’t know yet. Then my future girlfriend was standing in front of me, but in my mind I was already packing for my future departure. During the bouldering I couldn’t take my eyes off Theresa and also tried again and again to start a conversation with her. But no chance! I’ve been totally rebuffed. Weeks later, she also told me that I wasn’t really her type. After bouldering we went together to the local café and talked a bit.
In the café I told her that I would like to emigrate in the next few months. She asked me how I will earn my money and I explained that I will earn my money with human design. Suddenly, she was visibly interested in me and my skills as a human design analyst. I offered to tell her a little bit about her and her chart, because I was very interested in it myself. I was directly struck by how many electromagnetic connections we have. I immediately realized why I find this woman so incredibly attractive. I ended up giving her my number to do the Human Design Basic Reading for her.
Our first date
My Human Design Readings are always accompanied by a coaching session with me. After the coaching session, I had the impulse to ask her if she would like to meet with me. Before my question, I had reminded her again about her type, strategy and authority and she should make her decision accordingly. She is a generator with a spontaneous belly voice. I couldn’t even finish my sentence because she had already answered with yes. Before our coaching session, I had already booked my flight to Sri Lanka. In the following 3 weeks we met regularly, savoring every moment, because we knew I would be flying to Sri Lanka at the end of May. We never thought about how things could or would go on. The time together was so incredibly magical that we didn’t care about the rest.
Last week we went together to an unpacking store where I wanted to buy something for my trip. In the conversation with the saleswoman, I explain to her that I need a water bottle for my trip abroad. The store also has a café. Theresa and I enjoyed a cake and chai latte here. I think it was very obvious what was going on between us. After all, we didn’t hide it. So we stand at the checkout and the saleswoman says out of nowhere, But, you are going to travel together? Very surprised, I turn around and look at Theresa. She answers in fractions of a second No, but in August we will. I had already asked her the days before if she would like to join me in Sri Lanka during her semester break, but she had not really given me an answer until that moment. Her statement in the store was as clear as if she had already booked the flight internally. Overjoyed, I walked out of the store with my new water bottle and the thought of welcoming Theresa at the airport in Sri Lanka.
The first goodbye
Two days before my flight to Sri Lanka, we had our last days together. For the last three days I have had a severe sore throat and I didn’t know where it comes from. From a spiritual point of view, when you have a sore throat, you always have to ask yourself, what do I not want to express? During this day I realized that I have fallen in love with Theresa and that I would like to tell her directly. But I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t act on my type, strategy, and authority. It hadn’t been 28 days since our first date. So I endured the pain and left without confessing my love for her. As soon as I was in the train on the way to my family, the sore throat became milder and milder.
I talked about this situation with my human design mentor. She explained to me again in more detail what it means when we speak of the third being in a partnership. Once we are in a relationship, or even generally connected with other people, we are always the sum of all parts. Of course, this is felt particularly strongly in a partnership. To be completely honest here, we can never really get to know our partner. As soon as Theresa is with me, I give her all my definitions and through that I always see in her only the third being. Therefore, it often happens that a person changes a lot as soon as he or she has a new partner. The more time we spend with the partner, the stronger the conditioning by the third being becomes. For that reason, a person can easily get really lost in a partnership. One loses, so to speak, partly one’s individual being and becomes the new third being. That’s not a bad thing in principle. It’s just important to recognize and understand the mechanics.
Authority in the partnership
In my case, I have an open throat center and Theresa has a defined center. Through this I became a mouthpiece for the third being and it wanted to express itself through me. In a relationship, it is extremely important to understand that authority changes in many people. 50% of humanity has an emotional authority and thus most relationships are highly emotional. In our case, we are both emotionally open beings, but together we define the Emotional Center. Through this, we make decisions as a couple based on our Emotional Center and as individuals with our individual authority. Theresa has the spontaneous belly vote and I have to wait at least 28 days. For individual decisions, it is always better to go out of the partner’s aura and be alone for a few hours first. So that access to one’s own authority can be built up again.
In this situation, I made a conscious decision to use my individual authority. I could have also confessed my love to her these days. Then I would have made the decision based on the third being. There is no right or wrong in this case. It is particularly well seen here how important it is to become aware of one’s type, strategy and authority and to make the correct decisions for oneself based on them.
The open status
In our last three days together, we hadn’t really talked about what to do next with us. Well, to be honest, Theresa put a farewell note in my hand on the first of those days. I read the letter, looked at her and just meant, you are not serious now? After my reaction to the letter, she realized that she had written the letter from her mind and not from her heart. Afterwards, we talked about our situation, but nothing concrete came out of it. So I flew to Sri Lanka with an open status regarding our relationship. It also didn’t feel right for me to tell her now, so close to the end, that I would like to have her as my girlfriend by my side.
After we left Germany, we had much more contact than before. We wrote to each other every day and talked on the phone a certain 2-3 times a week. Building a relationship at such a long distance is a real challenge. This experience first showed me how important physical contact and the exchange of energy with one’s partner is. It was also made clear to both of us how essential it is to talk about everything. Of course, this applies to all relationships, whether the partner is abroad or not. However, in a long distance relationship it is the only way to be in touch with each other. Talking about one’s own emotions is uncomfortable for many people, because we have never learned to do so and sometimes do not even know ourselves what is going on inside us. During that time there were also one or two crises between us and we had no choice but to talk about everything. As a result, our connection became more intimate and intense. We have also learned to feel the heart of the other person over the distance and thus to recognize how the other person feels at the moment.