There is first the inner authority, which most people have and thus make decisions based on their own inner mechanism. The external authority is very rare and in order to make decisions it needs a lot of time, patience and interaction with other people. The mechanism of internal authority depends on the centers defined in the chart. 50% of humanity has a defined emotional center. Therefore, half of all people make decisions based on their emotional wave.Then there is the gut voice, the spleen voice, the ego, and the self as the inner authority. The most important point about authority is that the mind is not there to make decisions. Many people try to decide from their head. In the majority of cases, this leads to less than ideal decisions that are regretted in retrospect. It takes an incredible amount of energy to correct this decision after the fact.
My own experiment
As a reflector, I have an external authority. The reason is that I have no defined centers and therefore no inner authority. For me, it means waiting at least 28 days before I decide. That means I need a lot of patience and understanding from other people until I finally make up my mind. Patience is not exactly my strong point. For big decisions, I need far more time than the 28 days. It took me over 2 years to make the decision to leave Germany. As long as I don’t have clarity, I get information and impressions from outside without letting myself be manipulated by them. At some point, something clicks inside me and it’s clear to me how I’m going to decide. I had a really hard time at first getting out of my head and trusting my own authority. The mind can bombard us with endless doubts. He also does not want us to trust our authority at all, because otherwise he will lose influence. This influence comes from the not-self. The not-self wants to preserve itself naturally and so the tension between mind and one’s authority arises.
My current decision-making process
In Sri Lanka I received Marma Therapy from a friend and those 1.5 hours made a deep impression on me. Marma is an ancient Indian technique to heal the body. After the treatment I felt so good and my body was like realigned. After more than 28 days and much discussion with my friends, I felt a clear impulse to become a Marma Therapist in addition to Human Design. Now this is not easy, because this ancient art is taught with great attentiveness and there are only a few traditional masters left. Normally, the student must practice Kalari for many years before being initiated into the Marma techniques. Kalari is the Indian martial art from which Marma Therapy originated.
Unfortunately, I had no clue how to find a master. So I wrote to all sorts of websites on the Internet that offer Marma in India. I did not find many and all but one person did not answer me or flatly refused. After being so excited that someone wanted to teach me, I said yes right away. After the decision, I kept having doubts about whether I shouldn’t have waited. But I had no alternative at the time. After all, he was the only one willing to teach me. That used to be my thoughts.
Start of the Marma training
Three days after I made the commitment, we started with the theory. Since I was still in Sri Lanka at the time, he taught me online via Zoom. After 2 months of theory, I would come visit him in India for 1 month and start the practical part of the training. The training costs 1600 dollars and lasts 1 year. Already in the first lesson he started to manipulate me. I should open a Marma center in Germany and together we will bring Marma to the world. At first, I saw it more as an attempt to motivate me. Unfortunately, it didn’t get any better with the hours that followed and at times I felt like we were talking 50% of the time about how to sell Marma.
Then, when we talked about my first stay at his center, he explained to me that the cost of housing is not included in the cost of the course. That was fine with me at first. When he explained to me that the cost of lodging was $1800, it wasn’t anymore. Moreover, it was getting stranger and stranger with him and he wanted me to help him get more German customers. He also wanted me to work on his website while staying with him. He had also offered me a commission of $100 for every German customer I bring to his center. This was so not what I was looking for. Nevertheless, I felt I had no other choice because I knew of no other teacher.
Arrived in India
I landed in Chennai in the southeast of India and stayed in the city for 4 days. Afterwards I went to Kochi in the south-west by train. In Kochi I had booked an accommodation through Airbnb for 3 nights. After that, I wanted to go to Goa before heading all the way south to see my instructor. I have not left Kochi until now and I am still in the same accommodation. It turned out that one of my hosts is a Marma therapist and we got along super well right away. One night I told my new friends about my situation with the teacher and they both expressed their concerns. This conversation opened my eyes and I realized I had to stop the training. They would also help me find a new teacher.
The next day I tried to reach him, but he just said he didn’t have time. He did that often and annoyed by it I told him via WhatsApp that I will not continue the training with him. He should please wire me back $1400 and he can keep the $200 for his expenses. The next day he called me and tried to convince me to continue the training. It’s just my mind that doubts, he said. Whereupon he offered me more courses. I would not have to pay for these courses either. From my point of view, it was getting weirder and weirder. I had agreed to sleep on it again and I would get back to him in a few days.
To the police
A few days later I told my instructor again via WhatsApp that I would not continue the training. I had absolutely no desire to talk to him on the phone anymore because he is so manipulative. In his reply, he only referred me to his website and the cancellation rights. I called him while my friends were sitting next to him. He was totally aggressive and even threatened me on the phone not to mess with him. After the phone call, I went to the police with my friends and I started a case against him for fraud. The case is still ongoing and let’s see how the whole thing will end.
What I have learned
This experience was again a lesson for me and showed me very clearly what happens when I make a decision out of impatience. I waited 28 days to decide whether I wanted to learn Marma or not. I didn’t wait to see if I wanted to do the training with this teacher or not. On my next try, I will definitely wait at least 28 days before getting involved with the new teacher or not.
It is important to me to show by this example how crucial it is to practice one’s own mechanism with type, strategy and authority. When making big decisions in life, the pressure is often enormous. This can very easily lead to incorrect decisions. Even if it should happen, it is not a mess, but just a reminder rather to live according to our type, strategy and authority.